Enough. 

Last Friday, I woke up 7:36, because Thursday I turned all my alarms off and went to the gym at 5 am, not my norm. 😑

At 7:36, already there isn’t enough time and I haven’t even gotten out of bed. Even if I left right then, in my PJ’s and a messy bun, it’s impossible to get to work by 7:30 like I wanted. Hello Friday. Not a great start. I wake up and already have this feeling of lack resting on my shoulders. I feel as though it starts to transfer into the rest of me. If I’m not careful, pretty soon I’ll realize that I didn’t get enough sleep, I have a huge list of tasks to complete before the end of the day, and on top of it my allergies stole my voice. It makes me feel like I’m not a good enough employee, not working hard enough, not able to be enough for the people I encounter and before you know it my day is defined by the things I feel I need more of. It becomes defined by what I lack. And it’s not even 8am.


God shook me that morning while waiting for my coffee to brew (because no matter how late you are, there is always time for coffee, just sayin’.) What do you do when you wait; you sing. And psalm 23 pops into my head.

“The Lord is my Shepard, I lack nothing” Psalm 23:1

God nudged my heart, tell me something you are thankful for. A small smile crossed my face. Almost 8 am, I’m waiting for my coffee and smiling because God is reminding me to look at the other side of this. He speaks truth into me. And just like that I start listing out loud with the only voice I can muster, which sounds an awful lot like a tiny gremlin, the many things that I’m thankful for. No matter how well put together I am some days, no matter how pretty my words may or may not be, or how great that photo looks with this or that filter, no matter how hard I work; I have bad days. It’s real. It’s true. And even in the midst of times that I’d rather not encounter I find that God’s got grace for that.

I need to give myself a little grace.

I’ll make up for my time at work. I’ll get my work done, because I’m a hard worker and a good employee. I’ll do it and I’ll do it well. I’ll also share that life is full of days that try to tell me I’m not enough. Whether that’s at work, at play, in relationships, at just plain random everyday life. There are times I tend to lean towards wanting to compare myself. Feeling I need to put my best foot forward, always. I feel we are told don’t step out unless you are the best at it. But it’s important to remember comparison stomps out contentment and joy. Insecurity kills intimacy. Not enough, it’s fear. And he’s a liar.

My home isn’t magazine ready. I have a pile of laundry I need to put away, half of my belongings are still boxed up, I’m using boxes as computer desks and nightstands. Martha Stewart’s making gourmet meals and I’m over here frying eggs. My organization skills could use improvement, to say the least. The worlds nailing it and I’m “nailing it”. I know you’ve probably seen the failed Pinterest attempts claiming nailed it and know exactly what I mean.
I could be more artsy, creative, smart, free, happy, OR…I can be content. Because what good comes from feeling like I’m in lack?

One day at a time. God has been transforming me since day 1, since my first breath. I’m a better person than I was 25, 20, 15, 10 years ago, or yesterday. He loves me, and in that, I begin to see how I am in His eyes. Beautiful, lovely, captivating, delightful, smart, free, spunky, creative, happy, in progress, and yes enough. Always enough. And so are you. Created to be enough, just as you are.  Let this sink into your bones, your heart, your soul. And sing this over yourself, your children, friends, and loved ones today.
The Lord is my Shepard, I lack nothing. – Psalm 23:1

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Ready or not. 

Exodus 14:14. I’ve seen this over and over again the last few weeks. I saw this as the verse of the day. I’ve seen it on notebooks, as lock screens on phones, and today I saw it on a coffee mug.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
If you know me well, you know being still is hard for me to do. If I weren’t home schooled as a kid I’m positive I’d have been diagnosed ADD. What I saw as life and spunk, I’m positive others may have labeled as just plain exhausting. My mother will vouch for the fact that I could only do math in a shoulder stand. I mean now looking back I’m convinced the blood flow to my head probably helped me out, right? I was ahead of my time!
I see the word ‘still’ here and I start thinking about waiting and preparing.
God has been teaching me for about a year now about these two words. I think preparing is wonderful. We are taught this with the best of intentions our whole lives. We study for tests, we practice for the game, we take college prep classes, we take counseling before getting married, maybe take a class on finances, we read books about having babies, we google everything now so we know where we are going, how to change a tire, do hair, or make a smoothie. You name it, we prepare for it. And it’s great I love it, but God has been pushing me in this outside of comfort.

He asked me one day, “Will you ever be ready?” Well that’s a loaded question, Jesus, ready for what? His answer was, “exactly”. Hahaha. See the point I felt He was making in my heart is that I’m ‘ready’ for whatever I think I’m ready for. And there is comfort in knowing the topic of the thing you are being asked are you ready for? (If that makes sense.) Tell me the topic and I’ll tell you if I’m ready, but if I’m not I’ll need to prepare.

I’ll never be 100% ready. I’m never really ready to move out, to meet the guy, to lose him, to get married, to have babies, to lose my job, to get a new one, to leave loved ones or to lose them completely. See ready is a term that I define based on what I know, but God isn’t ever asking me to be ready. He’s asking me to be flexible with my ready. He’s saying prepare your heart. He isn’t against preparing, but don’t wait for perfection, because it’ll never come. Don’t wait to show up with what you have. Take the step in faith. Because being ready, comes through the process, not the preparation.

So I dive back into Exodus 14:14 and I look it up in the Strong’s concordance.

“The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.” (KJV)

This is beautiful, because in Bible study we have been studying Ephesians and the armor of God so already I’m seeing connection after connection here.

Peace here it says comes from the primitive root to be silent.

The beautiful thing about verse 14 is that 15 follows it.

Then (emphasis added) the Lord said to Moses, “why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.”

The word for move on comes from the word meaning to set out, journey, set forward, depart.
Oh God, you are so so. So so good. This is so good.
Be still here isn’t passive. It’s active faith. In this verse the be still or hold your peace, however your version translates this. It’s actively in faith stepping out expecting God to come through for you. Expecting God to come through is trusting Him. It is the breath taking, beautiful, amazing promises of God. You step out because you know He is good. We don’t need to be ready. We just need to trust that God has got this.
Exodus 14:21 is when Moses stretches his hand out as God has instructed and parts the Red Sea. All the tears. This is beautiful. Thanks Jesus for teaching us beautiful things about who you are. It looks like there is a sea in front of me. It doesn’t look good. But God says move forward, do as I say, I have you.

What is your Red Sea today? God is asking you to trust in Truth and walk out righteousness with the peace of God in you and have faith that He will come through for you.