I sat at the park yesterday and remembered someone saying once that because they’ve experienced heartbreak they know love.
I started to think about that and quickly decided comparison in that way may have some ability to increase gratitude, but should never define how we measure or understand love. Experiences are all different. But we don’t grade papers based off the best kid in class. We grade papers off the truth.
We need a constant. An absolute.
I know love, because I know Jesus, not because I live in a broken world and anything better than broken will do.
This view. I woke up to so many of the sweetest messages from friends and family and I’m so blessed. Blessed to call Kentucky where I am learning to grow deep roots. Blessed because my home is scattered among the hearts of people I love, in different places. Blessed to have a family of friends ,and friends that have become family. Blessed to get to celebrate their best moments and be present in their worst.
I woke up this morning and the cold was beckoning me outside. Wrapping me in a big blanket and urging me out in my sock feet. Breathing in the cold air was harsh in my lungs and at the same time it reminded me of these mountains. It reminded me that I’m small…but mighty. I’m made of jagged grey, a million lush variations of green and speckled with vibrant gold. These mountains remind me I can do hard things. And when I can’t…that’s ok too, because He can.
Give up your defeated I can’t for the beautiful freedom of He can.
#raisethebar #lovenotes #kylo
Thunder woke me startled this morning. For a second I felt the desire and need to just snuggle in for a few more minutes.
In one week I’ll probably completely forget how in love I was waking up to those cracks and rumbles this morning. In a few hours I may not be able to hear them over the sounds of lab instruments and air conditioning systems and fans, but in that moment all I wanted was to watch rain drops race down window panes, to snuggle into this moment a little deeper, because it is beautiful, relaxing, and so completely peaceful.
It reminded me that last night I lay in the dark and a few tears escaped and ran down my cheeks. I realized in that moment how little I believed that God actually had all, I mean ALL, of my life. I realized how little I believed that He actually had a plan in what feels monotonous and mundane. In the midst of my dark bedroom I was reminded of His all consuming light.
This morning I connected those moments and I remembered what my sister reminded me of months ago, you can’t cap God. He is organic, free…wildly free, and He is bigger than my fears, my problems, and my strengths. I was reminded of watching lightning over the Rocky mountains and realizing God is big. And not just New York City big, mountains big, or whole earth big, but without bounds, big. Standing on the beach can’t see any land big, looking into the sky realizing we aren’t in a snow globe big. He isn’t a genie in a lamp. He cannot be contained, capped, or wrangled or reigned in like an overstuffed suitcase you sit on to close. He is doing big things. He is working things for your good. He is holding you when you want to snuggle in bed. He is holding you when you are making big moves and He is holding you when the floor seems to have dropped out from under you. And he doesn’t have a square box that says how He can or will do it. It’s not A, B, C, or a combination of those three.
It’s b o u n d l e s s.
He makes the rules. He has no boundaries. So whatever you are going through this morning, I pray for peace in your hearts and a call in your soul. One step in faith, that He has all of your life.
Genesis 1:2-3 is on my heart this morning.
2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
Just soaking in this verse…
Lately I’ve caught myself more often than not responding to people asking “how’s life?” with an exasperated “busy”.
I run on an elliptical and read books. I watch tv and cook dinner, while folding laundry, doing dishes, and sorting mail. I talk on the phone and fill out paperwork while making schedules and to do lists in my head, on post it’s, or on my phone. I run from here and there and get home sometimes after 9 or 10 at night. This is my normal.
Then I came across this verse.
The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance and advantage,
But everyone who acts in haste comes surely to poverty.
Proverbs 21:5 AMP
I’ve felt so convicted the past week to be intentional. And busy doesn’t always feel intentional. It feels like calendar invites, volunteering, driving, eating out, and crashing when I get home exhausted, feeling tired waking up to do it again.
Sure some seasons in life are busier than others. Volunteering and having a schedule isn’t a bad thing, but it can be when it gets to be too much. When we stretch ourselves too thin.
It’s so easy to feel productive or purposeful when I’m moving, but there can also be a lot of wasted life under the label of busy. To the outside world I might seem like “she can do it all”, “she’s got it together”, “how does she have energy for that?”, but in reality we can’t maintain that lifestyle. We need balance. Seasons of “busy” and seasons of rest.
I don’t have it all together, I have energy because I drink about six cups of coffee almost everyday and don’t stop moving until my head hits my pillow at night.
I’m tired and worn out and in complete need of Jesus. (Matthew 11:28-30) I cherish Saturday and Sunday mornings because I get to slow things waaaaay down. I paint and cook and listen to music. Moly (my hedgehog) helps me to get outdoors and sit in the grass or pull out my hammock. I used to struggle with this, sitting still, and now I crave it, like mountains and starry skies.
But I walked out of work yesterday to this sky.
Sometimes God gets my attention by taking my breath. It works every time. Slow down your busy. You don’t have to do it all. It’s beautifully freeing.
I understand now that I’m not a mess, but a deeply feeling person in a messy world.I explain that now when someone asks why I cry so often, “For the same reason I laugh so often – because I’m paying attention.”
-Glennon Doyle Melton