A Future.

Why do you not dream of the future?


My voice in my head is so good at speaking up until it’s asked a heart wrenching question.

…maybe I don’t believe I have one.

Maybe I sit in my chair and think this is my space. This is my box. These are the corners. I can stretch my arms out and know that it’s safe. Tomorrow is just today repeated. Just a collection of todays…

Isn’t that such a constricting, limiting thought? No growth. No change. No improvement or movement.

Stagnation is an epitome of Hell.


On cold mornings I actually love to sit outside consumed in an oversized, fluffy blanket and dream. So this morning the surprise of snow was just a love note. I close my eyes and breathe in the aroma of my coffee and remember journaling outside a café in Denver before heading to the top of Pikes Peak. The cold bite of air, partnered with the sound of pen to paper fresh in my mind. Looking down to see a stain on my hiking boots from the day before in the Rockies.

If you asked me to dream, it would be of mountains. The crunch of gravel under foot. Slight sweat as I assess the best way up a tough part of the trail. The soft chatter of my best friends not far ahead. No set in stone schedule day to day. Just the heart drawing you to places where you come alive. The views that draw your heart out in the form of tears. A heart that’s untamed by the thoughts of what should I be.


John 10:10 comes into play because God’s been throwing it in my path now for weeks.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.” (ESV)


I always focus on the first part of this verse. Watch out for the devil he’s gonna try to steal, kill, and destroy you.

But you see the end is the part we should focus on. The God end of the bargain.


I (God) came that they may have life. (and not just any life) Abundant life.


Focus on God and He will uphold His end of the bargain.

Abundant life is a promise to you.

No future, huh?

Just a collection of todays, you say?

Well watch out then. Because I never waste one.


Always more.

I sat in a place I’ve sat many times and realized I was withholding the very thing I’m created for. To love. Love when your scared. Love when you don’t know the outcome. To hope for something. To dream a little bigger. Make God bigger than all the other things. It’s His rightful place. I talk about it all the time, yet needed desperately to make it personal this morning. And so on this ridiculously warm morning, I looked at my life and realized how easy it is to put up a wall in defense of the unknown and not even realize it.

Pretzel legs and hands open, I repented.

I sang these simple words.

“Unreserved, unrestrained, your love is wild Your love is wild for me.”

Reckless love…

That’s what we receive…and it’s what I’m called to.

Ending in 8.

Just like that she let go.

With ink passing over clean spaces.

Strong, sharp inhale. Slow, shaky exhale.

A hum lightly in the background. Fear rushing out, as the unfamiliar pushes in.

Closed eyes.

She let go.

Of the girl everyone thought she was. In her stillness, she let go. It wasn’t for show. It was for her soul. It was for every decision she made by holding on for too long. It was the reminder that you are more than your physical self and the thoughts that circle.

The slow, drawn out sound of scissors by careful, steady hands.

It was a bold stirring of the heart to change and to not be stuck on the comfort of being what someone else approves of, including yourself.

Hum. Buzz. Snip.

Inhale, sharp. Exhale, slow.

Without a sound. Eyes closed. She let go. One unsteady breathe at a time.

Opened her hands and gave every ounce of her heart, for the hope that the best is yet to come.


Day 4: Into the Tetons
Friday morning was the calm before the storm in the Tetons.


We’d get to meet them! Hike into them and find out just what they might have to offer us.


Over the last year I’ve heard over and over not to rush through them. Like the rest of this trip, they did not disappoint us. Vast. Massive. Impressive. Mighty. All of these words have new meaning after this trip. I’m more in love with the mountains than I even knew. They are breathtaking, though some might say it’s the altitude hitting you, but I know otherwise.


Mountains are my love language.


I literally am at loss for words. Just thankful that my eyes have the opportunity to see something this beautiful. In every sense. The sun reflecting off the perfectly transparent water, the jagged mountains covered in snow, the evergreen forests, the grassy plains. The fresh piney air in my lungs. You can’t have a bad view here, every direction I take a photo thinking nope this view is even better than the last and then turn around and think it again.

We grabbed coffee and baked treats in Jackson at the cutest little bakery called Persephone and found our way through the city of Jackson before heading into the national park.
We drove into Grand Teton National Park and oh my. My, oh my. It’s magnificent. Whether it’s the fact that the land is Kansas flat and then all of a sudden 13,000 foot mountains rise up in your path showing you just what that looks like, or maybe something else all together.

My heart sees something about these mountains it understands on another level. It relates to how hard the trek can be, it relates to the beautiful views from the top or maybe just along the way. It understands feeling tired, worn out, achy. It understands that it’s not always easy or great, and sometimes you start scanning every which way checking for bears, snakes, or mountain lions. Hh my. It’s a lot like life. We prepare and we try to make plans but around every corner something new, amazing or scary, presents itself.

At the end of the day, God has blown me away. He is amazing. He got us here on a dream while eating salads. Today we sat on the dam at Jackson Lake knowing in twelve hours we were running that dream. 13.1 miles, with this incredible view. The mountains as our spectators.

Friends…chase after what you love. Make sure to make time and save money for things in your life that take your breath away. It’s so easy to get caught up in the grind. To get stuck in the rut. To rationalize that it’s too much time or money, but I’m here to tell you it’s possible and worth it. Chase it. Pursue those heart eyes. Your dream might not be running through the mountains, or even mountains at all, but chase it. And never forget it’s worth it.


(We hiked Jenny lake, taggart lake, and Bradley lake. We sat at oxbow bend and the dam at Jackson lake.)

Road to the Tetons. 

Day three of our adventure to the Tetons was an eight hour drive to meet their incredible wonder.
The funny thing is I received a text from a friend along the drive who was being silly and said that the journey isn’t about the destination, which is true, but the literal drive to the Tetons has me thinking of the mental journey that’s gotten me here.

I wish I could express to you without being overcome with emotion how God planted this dream in my head through my sister first, and then my friends and family. Almost 9 months ago in a little restaurant downtown Lexington I tried to get a group of girls to entertain this idea of running a half marathon, not in our backyard, but in Wyoming. (PS we aren’t runners.) and here we are driving through Wyoming to actually run it.

Kelly and I made our trek out of Colorado to Wyoming listening to country music and talking about all that life has brought our way in the past few months. Laughing, feeling like we’ve lost our minds to altitude and maybe a little bit to sugar high, we somehow didn’t completely lose it on our 8 hour drive.

Reflecting on the mental preparation for this race is more than difficult for me. It’s not pretty. It doesn’t sound or look inspiring. It’s not clean neat lines. It’s defeat. It’s pain. It’s hopelessness. And tears. Too many tears. Good thing my friends and family are rockstars.



Over a month ago I sat in a physical therapists office feeling like I couldn’t run this race. It didn’t matter how beautiful everything else was. All I could think about was hip pain when I was trying to train.


I wasn’t suppose to run more than 1 or 2 miles and even that was at a walk/run pace. How in the world was I going to finish 13.1 miles in the time alloted? That’s all I could think. It was overwhelming.


BUT there’s also faith. Hope. And the goodness of God that shines through even the worst situations.

I know life could be worse. I know I have it good, but defeat and hopelessness and hurt try to make their way into your life and no one is immune to that or excused from it. Those things will try and try and try again.

Eating BBQ at bubbas and dipping our feet in our hot tub was the part of the start to our welcome to the Tetons, but this trip is going to end with breaking our fears. Breaking mental barriers of what we thought we couldn’t do…and in all that we are coming out of this place better than we went into it.

So thank you for this push. All the people who’ve contributed and supported. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest, even when we don’t feel we have it to give.


When you don’t think it gets any better…

Day two.
I’ve been looking forward to this moment for a long time. Not my whole life, but two years is a good amount of time I’ve been dreaming of this place.

It’s hard to describe the anticipation building when you’ve waited for this moment and you honestly don’t know if it will live up to your bar or if you’ll run into issues. You just don’t know what to expect when it comes to nature. Never can be for certain what you’ll see or encounter. And yet here we are road tripping to Maroon Bells in Aspen, Colorado and Hanging Lake in Glenwood Springs.

Heart eyes are a terrible understatement. Any words I use will be a disservice here. Words can’t fill the shoes of these massive peaks and almost too quiet atmosphere that surrounds them. Massive is a word you don’t understand the definition to until you feel how immense something this phenomenal is.


It demands your awe. You just realize after a few minutes that you’ve been whispering. You stand realizing that God created this beauty and danger and He is so full of mystery it demands worship and awe when you stand at the base of His creation.

Every time we see something I feel like it cannot get better than this…and then I’m put in my place again.


Oh, but it can.

God has seriously just given us blessings since we landed in this beautiful state. It’s a trip for the books and we are only on day two.
Colorado, you are rad. As I fall in love, reflect, trip over my own words, and encounter the incredible idea of breath taking, I’ll leave you with a few photos of this place. The magnitude of what it means to be wind knocked out of me speechless is setting in on me. I’m closing my eyes dreaming of places a human like myself feels only exist in movie sets and fairy tale worlds, and then realizing that this isn’t a dream. My reality is that dream.
Today we went from tropical oasis waterfalls and straight up hikes, to panoramic, Aspen covered mountains and slow snowy hikes my heart is incredibly full. Thank you Jesus for a gift I can’t earn and don’t deserve.


Day one and my heart is already over flowing. How I’ve missed this jagged horizon deeply.
Seeing the snow ice mountain peaks as we landed was literally all the heart eye emojis, happy tears, and a million other emotions.

It’s too hard to describe vast. You just have to experience it.

We are all pretty exhausted, maybe 12 hours all three of us combined, but that doesn’t stop us from making the most of our first day out here.

I can’t tell you though how thankful I am for friends who embraced this crazy proposition. This crazy adventure. Days packed with hiking, driving, and anticipation of what we will find out here.
Tuesday we drove to the Broadmoor at Colorado Springs and then to hike Garden of the Gods. The Broadmoor was prettier than expected and a perfect start to our trip.

It started to rain upon arrival and the troopers I have for friends say yes to taking on the 224 stairs….steep stairs to view all seven falls. Not only that, but also hike to Inspiration Point at the top, in the rain. Facing our fears of heights, we did this together, trying our best not to look down and not to fall down 224 stairs since the stairs were slick with rain.
The second adventure of our day was hiking through Garden of the Gods. I spent too much time with “mountain brain” laughing with two girls as we named our own rock formations instead of just finding the ones  already named.

Thankful. Beyond thankful. We are beyond pumped for what the week ahead holds.